Tina Gerow Read online

  James stood and began to pace the room, but continued as if Logan hadn’t spoken. “I was one of the original men turned.” James stopped pacing and looked at him as if searching his face for a reaction.

  Logan’s first reaction was denial. He’d known James and spent the better part of ten years with him. He wasn’t an evil man, he would bet his life on it. And from the look on James’ face, Logan knew there was no hope James was joking.

  “But I’ve seen you out during the daytime, I know you’re not fond of garlic, but you eat it and you went with me to my cousin’s wedding last year—in a church. So how the hell do you expect me to believe you’re a vampire?”

  “I’m a very old and very powerful vampire. I can do any of those things within reason. Although Ariel’s taunt about meeting at high noon had some bite—the high noon sun would probably disintegrate me, while varying degrees of exposure during the rest of the day would only burn me severely.”

  Logan sat silent for a moment, trying to come to terms with his long-time friend being a vampire, because his gut told him it was true. Then another thought entered his mind that chilled him to the bone. He looked up at James. “Do you know why I was attacked? Do you know the vampire we killed tonight?”

  James shook his head. “From Ariel’s description, this was a baby vamp, only half a century or so old.” He met Logan’s closed gaze. “I would never do anything to hurt you. I swear on my life I know nothing about these attacks. I’ve been trying to protect you on my own, but I needed help.”

  Logan took a moment to let this new information sink in. He knew James well enough to accept he was telling the truth. And now curiosity took over. “Do you drink blood?”

  “I have to in order to survive, but I’m powerful enough to eat human food as well, even though it’s not very good for me.”

  “Human blood?” Logan asked, not sure if he wanted the answer.

  At James’ nod, he fought back a shudder. Only hours earlier, a vampire had nearly ripped off his crotch. He couldn’t imagine James attacking anyone in that manner.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” James said. “And there have been times in my life I’ve hunted humans and I’ve killed. But most of my blood comes from willing donors.”

  “Willing donors? Who the hell would offer themselves up like that?” He laid his arm protectively across his crotch, thankful the baby vamp, as James called him, had missed.

  James scrubbed his hand over his face and looked embarrassed. “Many people in the Goth movement like to play at being vampires and like to exchange blood during sex. But even with those, I fade their memories so they don’t get suspicious.”

  “So that’s why the world at large doesn’t know there are vampire, gargoyle and zombie fights going on daily around the globe.” Logan’s thoughts wandered back to earlier in the evening with Ariel. “Wait a minute.” He looked up at James. “Ariel tried to fade my memories, didn’t she?”

  James nodded. “Twice, and neither time worked. So you’re meant to retain these memories for whatever purpose.”

  Logan’s emotions ranged from betrayal at Ariel for attempting to take his memories from him to smug male satisfaction that it didn’t work. He knew it probably had nothing to do with his male constitution, but he was happy about it nonetheless.

  He looked up at his friend. “Sorry, I’ve been peppering you with questions. If I let you finish, you’d probably answer them all. So you were telling me about when you were created.” He gestured for James to continue.

  “The newly created vampires were given great powers and expected to wreak havoc on the world. But mostly to make the humans fear all things supernatural—including the gargoyles.”

  James resumed pacing, as if moving his feet helped him get the words out. “But after the first five years, I couldn’t do it anymore. I was an evil man during my mortal life—I stole, cheated, lied and womanized. But there were always lines I wouldn’t cross, things I wouldn’t do even then.”

  Logan saw the anguish on his face. “Like what?” he heard himself whisper.

  “Cold blooded murder of good men, rape, torture, things like that. Although I’ll admit, I’ve killed my share of evil men.”

  “So what did you do after the five years?”

  Logan noted the relief that flowed across James’ face at his lack of judgment. James crossed to the chair and sat. “I walked out into the daylight. We were new vampires then and couldn’t even handle the early morning or dusk. I wanted my existence to end.” James looked past Logan and seemed to be reliving long ago memories.

  “But when I stepped out into that first ray of sun, I didn’t experience lancing pain, only comfort and peace…and I smelled cinnamon.” A small sad smile curved James’ lips.

  “Cinnamon?” he asked, incredulous.

  James nodded. “The air always smells of cinnamon before the angel Gabriel appears. At first when he appeared to me, I thought he was God, come personally to strike me down for all my sins. But the angel explained to me that while I’d done evil deeds, my heart wasn’t truly evil, and I still had a conscience. And if I chose of my own free will, I could be a good man, even in the body of a vampire.” James made a sweeping gesture with his hand to indicate his body.

  What would a second chance at life be like? Logan couldn’t even imagine.

  “Anyway, I became a spy of sorts. Gabriel didn’t tell any of the gargoyles about me in fear they would treat me differently and give away my true purpose to the other vampires. In the meantime, I accepted assignments to spare certain people or to steer my kiss to other targets.”

  “Your kiss?” interrupted Logan.

  “A kiss is a group of vampires. Sort of like a gaggle of geese.” James grinned at the description.

  Logan considered. He’d been right about James, he was a good man. So why were he and Ariel at such odds? Unless she still didn’t know. “How did you and Ariel meet?” Logan asked, selfishly hoping they were never lovers.

  James sighed and leaned back in his chair looking weary for the first time Logan could remember. This was definitely a night for firsts.

  “I was hoping you didn’t want to know about that.” James held up a hand to stop Logan’s objection. “I was hoping, but you have the right to know since she’s going to be guarding you.”

  Logan wasn’t sure what he wanted to hear, jealousy burned through him and he ruthlessly buried it. After all, anything that happened between James and Ariel had been before either of them had met him.

  “I met Ariel in 1804 in London. She and her clan were doing assignments in the area, and I’d moved my kiss there for better targets, and also to begin to infiltrate the mortal government.”

  “Infiltrate the mortal government?” Logan asked in disbelief.

  James chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. “You’d be surprised how many congressmen, senators and even presidents and prime ministers are not exactly human.”

  Logan wasn’t sure he wanted to delve into that right now, so he asked the next question on his mind. “You and Ariel were created in the 1100’s and you didn’t meet until the 1800’s?”

  James frowned suddenly. “There were five hundred gargoyles created, so Ariel and I were in very different places for many years. My kiss killed most of the local gargoyles and the local humans did the rest. You see, we’d done our job well, and the humans were leery of anything supernatural, 26

  including those sent there to protect them.” James rose and walked to the window. His back to Logan, he stood looking out, his arms crossed over his chest.

  “Ariel and her clan are the last four of the original five hundred gargoyles created. That’s why God released them from service. They’d fought faithfully for centuries.” James glanced back over his shoulder to smile at Logan. “Anyway, when I met Ariel, she was the most beautiful and exotic woman I’d ever seen. She captured my imagination.” He trailed off and stared out the window for a few minutes in silence.

  Logan wasn’t sure h
e was going to continue, but finally, James cleared his throat and turned toward him again. “We fell in love. But then, she didn’t know who or what I was. I was doing some work for Gabriel, so she figured I was trustworthy.”

  Logan realized how difficult it must have been for James to have a foot firmly planted in two different worlds. Each identity so dangerous that trusting anyone with the whole of it could get him killed. He glanced up at his friend. “You weren’t trustworthy?” He pushed himself up into a more comfortable position.

  “I wasn’t even on an assignment that night, but I saw some human servants about to rape and kill a young innocent girl.”

  Logan interrupted. “Wait,” he held up his hand, palm out. “Human servants?”

  “Human servants are humans who wish to become vampires. We use them as easy food, or even sex slaves. Most of them were evil men and women, hoping to gain vampire powers, which in time, if it suited the vampire’s purposes, they would.”

  Logan nodded and gestured for James to continue.

  “Anyway, when I saw the two human servants about to rape and kill the girl, I attacked them. That’s when Ariel came in. I was in the process of ripping one of their throats out.” James sat down heavily in the chair looking like the weight of the world sat upon his shoulders. “I’ll never forget the way she looked at me. But then she finally knew what I was. I saw the knowledge, the betrayal and the revulsion in her eyes. So when she ran away, I never went near her again.”

  Logan tried and failed to picture James ripping anyone’s throat out, so he pushed it from his mind. “She still doesn’t know?”

  James shook his head. “And I’d appreciate it if it stayed that way.”

  “But…”

  James held up a hand cutting him off. “I made a promise to Gabriel when I first gave him my oath, centuries ago. I won’t go back on it now. God granted me my life, and what She chooses to do with it, is Her decision. Besides, whatever was between Ariel and I is long since gone. I’m sure she’s moved on.”

  “She? God is a woman?” Logan tried to wrap his mind around this new piece of information. It gave the phrase “God’s sense of humor” a whole new twist.

  James smiled. “God is actually both and neither. But She prefers the female form. The scribes of the bible, obviously male, as well as the male dominated church perpetuated the maleness of God. When in actuality, if She appears to anyone, it’s in female form.”

  Logan sat staring at the far wall. He’d have to mull over the new feminine face of God later. Right now, he was still trying to come to grips with the shift in his perception of James.

  The entire decade he’d known James, he never saw him on a date or even out with friends. He glanced at James with a purposely stern expression on his face. “You known, I never saw you take any of the female groupies off by themselves, and I’ll admit I did wonder a time or two about you. I was starting to think you were sweet on me. Glad to hear you were just pining for a female with sexy black wings.”

  And I’m jealous as hell that Ariel loved you.

  James laughed. The first truly happy sound he’d made since entering Logan’s room. “Don’t get me wrong. I will always love Ariel. She was my first taste of love, after all. But I found someone after her who I loved even more. Someone I would walk through fire for, or even defy God Herself. But unfortunately, I didn’t realize that until I’d lost her.

  “I’ve had more life than any man has a right to ask for, and I’ve had my share of good fortune. I just want to make sure you have the time to live yours.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  >Fear marched up Logan’s spine in icy little pinpricks. The enclosed space of the cabinet pressed close around him along with the smell of the softener his mother always used in the laundry. He rubbed his face against the velvety softness of his mother’s best bath towels and tried to curl into a more comfortable position. But it was hot inside the small cabinet, and he wiped his sweaty palms on his pajama bottoms.

  Confusion and fatigue warred inside him, and he scolded himself when a yawn forced itself out. He’d promised he would stay awake until his mother came for him.

  His mother had grabbed him out of bed and shoved him in the linen cabinet, telling him to be as quiet as possible and to cover up with the towels and sheets so no one could find him but her. That seemed like ages ago, and he was afraid something had happened.

  Fear still pricked at him, but concern for his mother had him peeking out of a thin gap in the cabinet door to make sure no one was in the hallway. He crawled out, careful to leave the door open in case he needed to dive back in, then crept out into the hall to the head of the stairs.

  Voices—angry voices cut through the night and his blood iced over as he heard his mother whimper. He turned to run to her and the smell of cinnamon permeated the air.

  He looked up and saw a beautiful blonde man reaching for him. And when the man’s hand touched Logan’s head, all his pain and worry melted away.

  Then he was in bed, and someone warm and soft pushed the hair back from his face. She smelled like vanilla and her hand against his face felt like heaven. A sense of peace and comfort infused him. Next, he saw a beautiful brunette walking toward him, her large wings billowing around her, her eyes beckoning to him. Another whiff of vanilla permeated his senses and Logan opened his eyes.

  Deep blue eyes, the color of the sky before a storm stared back at him. There was concern etched in them, but also a sweetness that called to him.

  His mind was fuzzy, and he knew the woman before him couldn’t be real. She was too lovely, too perfect. The full mouth beckoned to him, so he reached up to take. He noted the quick look of shock when he pulled her under him and delved into those soft lips. He took for only moments before she melted against him and twined her arms around his neck.

  Her kisses were tentative at first, but then she gained confidence and explored on her own, causing the urgency to ignite between them. Logan pressed his body fully against her soft curves and his fingers itched to touch and possess. The silky brush of her soft shirt and jeans against his naked skin sent erotic shivers through his body, and impatience had him slipping a hand under her shirt and cupping her lace-covered full breast. She moaned into his mouth and his erection hardened to the point of pain.

  She writhed under him, her busy hands exploring his back and pulling him tight against her. He cupped the weight of the breast in his hand, and then traced his fingers down along the rounded curve of her hip. An urgency to bury himself deep inside her gripped him.

  Slowly, the realization that there was a real woman writhing underneath him percolated into his blood-deprived brain.

  Ariel?

  He’d fantasized about these curves from the moment he first saw her.

  He held a slice of heaven in his arms and wanted to treasure every second. But grabbing her while coming out of a recurring childhood nightmare wasn’t a great way to start something like this.

  He tried to savor one last kiss before pulling away, but then she wrapped her long fingers around his throbbing erection and sent all his best intentions soaring out of his head. He heard his own gasp and then his chains of control strained almost to the breaking point. He clawed at her clothes until she was completely bare. His body demanded he plunge inside her softness, but he pulled back and turned his attention to savoring every luscious curve.

  When he took one full breast into his mouth, she gasped and held his head close as if she never wanted him to stop. Her nipple pebbled against his tongue, and he teased her with a light graze of his teeth until she whimpered with need. He moved his attention to the other breast until she was panting, and he knew she wanted to explode.

  She tasted dark and exotic, enticing his senses and scattering his thoughts. Logan trailed his hand down slowly to cup her and then slipped one finger inside. Immediately, his head swam as need slammed into him. Wet heat clamped around his finger and Ariel bucked against him searching for release.

  Before he coul
d think, he shifted and slipped inside of her, burying himself completely.

  A groan filled his ears, and he wasn’t sure if it was his or hers. Inside, she was velvet heaven and welcoming heat and he took a moment to savor. The light vanilla scent of her filled his senses as he moved within her. He stopped to look down into her stormy blue eyes, and caught his breath.

  There was desire there, but also something else he couldn’t quite place. Sanity seeped back into his brain and the impact of everything he’d done closed in on him. He’d ravaged her without a word and now he’d buried himself inside her. He’d surfaced from a dream needing comfort, but there was no excuse for this. Even if he had fantasized about her almost non-stop.

  When he started to shift away, she took his face in her hands and pulled him down to her. Her lips met his, and the heat they’d built between them flashed again. Her tongue explored the inside of his mouth as her hands roamed over his body, until finally, Logan melted against her, all his doubts like dust on the wind.

  Ariel shifted and he knew she wanted to be on top. Logan spanned his hands around her waist and rolled off her, still buried deep. Their positions reversed, he watched in awe as she settled herself more comfortably on top of him. She leaned over to place her hands on either side of his head and then began to move.

  Her raven hair fell around her pale shoulders, porcelain in the early morning light. Her full breasts moved invitingly in front of his face, and he couldn’t resist taking one into his mouth. Ariel moaned and clamped tighter around him, her breathing labored.

  Logan knew she was close and wanted her to come, wanted to watch her face while he pleasured her. He took her full hips in his hands and each time she came down, fully impaled, he pulled her hard against him, making sure she took him deep. Soft sounds of urgency slipped out of her throat and she moved faster, her blue eyes boring into him, her lips parted in ecstasy.

  She clamped around him, ever tighter and he hardened further inside her, causing them both to gasp. Their movements became more insistent and the slap of flesh against flesh and panting breaths, louder.